7.30.2010

To Trust or Not to Trust?

I'm in desperate need of some catharsis. I thought that a jar of Nutella might be the answer this afternoon, but after one too many spoon fulls I felt worse, not better.

The question plaguing my mind is trust. When should it be given and when should it be witheld?

Is it something that you give only if it is first proven that the other is deserving of your trust? Or, do you hand it out blindly and hope for the best? Or, something in the middle maybe? Is it an issue of practicality, spirituality, both?

All I can come up with so far is that God freely gave His Son. In His infinite Knowledge He knew that some would accept His gift, He knew others would reject it. Yet, He gave freely to all. Isn't this the deepest form of trust? On the other hand, trust seems to imply a lack of knowing, and since God is all-knowing, maybe trust isn't the right word. Still, even if he doesn't trust us, He has entrusted us with many things.

Christianity 101 is based on the truth that God wants to form a loving relationship with us. And, in order to accept that love, we have to trust Him and have faith in a Creator that we have not seen. So, how does this parallel with our earthly relationships?

To get a little philosophical here, it reminds me vaguely of Plato's theory of Forms. The principles that God portrays in the God-Man relationship are the one's that we should try to immitate in our earthly relationships. Obviously, we will do so in an imperfect way.

So, how does trust play into this? There are so many verses in the Bible on how we are called to "love" others, but what about trust them? Must the two always go hand in hand? My brain is in spaghetti over this. Part of me wants to trust implicity. The other part of me thinks that's just not practical.

7.29.2010

Audience of One

My last post was one days shy of six months ago. I will bypass all of the life-changes that have occurred in the past months, partly because there's just too many to share (for example, I'm getting MARRIED in 74 days), but mostly because I am not narcisstic enough to think folks are still checking in to see if I'm around.

I have finally faced a fact. I am not now, nor ever will I be, the journaling type. It's just not in my blood. (Ironic considering I majored in "journal"ism.) I have always wanted to be the individual who passes on to Glory and leaves dozens of dusty, leather-bound journals behind. Maybe there's some comfort in knowing your words will live beyond your breaths. Over the years, I have had bouts of success--three days here, five days there--but inevitably my hand fails to keep up with my thoughts, and I decide the process is more laborious than enjoyable.

That is, in fact, what brought an end to my blogging career some months ago. In the beginning, I used my blog as a platform to entertain. There was a constant pressure to put out new information that would keep 'em coming back. I wasn't really sure why I wanted them to keep coming back. It's just what I was told was supposed to happen. Finally, it became more work than fun, so I scaled back.

Then, when I experienced a major life transition--moving to the inner-city--I shared some experiences and spiritual thoughts but soon lost my interest in blogging altogether. The tangible things in my life demanded my attention to such a degree that the intangibles of the Internet had little appeal.

I can't say that has changed. However, after receiving a few emails over the past months from folks who have read through my experiences and been encouraged or felt like my words were an answer to prayer, I have come to realize that there may be something worthwhile in this blogging thing, afterall.

So, from now on, I will be using this page much like a journal, but with an exponentially higher WPM rate and a (regrettable) inability to collect dust. The thoughts will be personal and true, without any attempt to entertain or inform "my readers." I'll be writing for myself and, of course, my ever-present audience of One. If someone stumbles upon me, along the way, wonderful. If not, at least my words will live somewhere beyond my breaths...even if they're not leather-bound.