5.14.2009

Awkward Moments, Installation 1

This will be a new recurring feature on my blog in which I will exploit, er, highlight someone's awkward moments. Because I'm short on time today--I have writing to do, the kind that actually pays me--you get me for Awkward Moments installation (AMI) #1. I have approximately 1, 347 of these in my personal memory arsenal so if I share one a week that means you can keep reading until at least the year 2034, at which point I'll have at least that many more, so you'll be able to keep reading until that Final Awkward Moment when you die.

Awkward Moments. We've all had them. You say or do something that provokes an awkward silence. You know, the kind that forebodes a lonely and painful death-by-embarrassment. Or, rather the kind you wish would forebode a lonely and painful death. Immediately. Because who's going to hold an awkward moment against a dead guy? Sadly, in the cruel, Hobbesian way of the world, death rarely comes when you'd like it to, and you're left standing (awkardly) alone, a husk of a man with only your embarassment to keep you company.

Yesterday, my moment happened in a library, which until yesterday, I had always thought of as a place for the advancement of my mind rather than regression of my ego.

It all started harmlessly enough. My computer was dying and I needed to plug my power adapter into an outlet. The nearest outlet happened to be located underneath a table where a man was sitting. Without thinking (the perfect beginning to a perfect awkard moment), I got down on my hands and knees and looked up at the (nice-looking) man and asked, "Sir, would you mind if I got underneath you?" He said nothing. I'm hoping because he was deaf, but more likely because he wanted the awkwardness of my question to sink into my soul as deeply as possible. Bonus awkardness ensued when the man sitting nearby (also nice-looking. Why are they always nice-looking when you're making a moron of yourself?) began to snicker.

That's when I decided my computer battery wasn't dying that quickly after all, at least not as quickly as I was on the inside, and I retreated to the safety of the (empty) magazine section.

Awkardness: 2, Dignity: 0.

2 comments:

  1. Ha. Wow. That is quite awkward.

    I'm not sure why they are always good looking but I have the same problem. You can't make a fool of yourself in front of bad looking guys. Although, I take that back. I make myself look awkward in front of all types of people. Ha.

    I look forward to more awkward moments. :)

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  2. Anonymous15.5.09

    It is a shame you ran off. That would have been a cute "how we met" story to tell the children you might have had with the guy who was so overwhelmed by the experience of having such a lovely woman at his feat that he was stuck dumb. That is a guy's perspective on your account anyway.

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