Save the Earth! Move to Mars!

That message is, of course, for my loyal following of liberal readers ... 0h, wait, nevermind.

If you think my suggestion is harsh, you might not want to watch Big Sexy ask an earth-loving couple if they'd consider removing their carbon footprint from the earth by, well, removing themselves. The hilarity begins around minute 2.

(*See more orange-jumpsuit-wearing, liberal-punk-slapping-goodness at the bottom of the post.)

Now, if you're wondering how much all this planet-lovin' is going to cost you, the latest tally from the MIT crowd, via the Weekly Standard, is $3,900. Think that's too much to pay? You do have one one other option: Save the Earth: Commit Suicide!

Before you do that, though, you'll want to have a last meal. Pundit and Pundette says earth day whales are very delicious. I prefer the endangered bluefin tuna myself, while Dave C says that spotted owl is a tasty alternative to the now-not-endangered eagle. Whichever dwindling species you choose, don't post pictures of your feast on Facebook. Apparently, you can get arrested.

Of course, you'll want some music to enjoy with your endangered species. Fisherville Mike shares an Earth Day-appropriate song.

Finally, Jimmie over at Sundries Shack just can't get enough of Earth Day and proposes we extend the celebration to a whole week:

"I think we should rename this week as Unintended Consequences Week, to celebrate all the effects our well-intentioned but panic-driven laws have had on our planet and our lives."

Now, go ye forth into all the world. Be fruitful and multiply your carbon emissions.

*Ready for more Big Sexy? And, I mean, can you ever really get enough? (Uh, actually, I personally know the answer to this: it's a resounding "yes!") In the video below, he convinces the sillies to sign a petition giving Gitmo detainees E-Harmony accounts, Netfix subscriptions, and the Jihad Olympics. The snark factor is through the roof. And, it’s awesome. Via Little Miss Attilla. (She also shares a video of a CNN reporter getting called to the carpet by a Tax Day Tea Party Patriot.)


  1. These videos are priceless. Awesome post!

  2. I like the fake water-boarding thing. "I was water-boarded.. I mean not for real but..."

  3. Thanks for the link. I've since added David Cook's "Light on" to the Earth Day festivities.

  4. Anonymous22.4.09

    So now Big Sexy is willing to hand out Godiva chocolate to everyone??

  5. Anonymous22.4.09

    Second video- so painful! I can't believe these people!

  6. I have to get back to work because reading your posts and following your links is costing me billable hours. However, I'd much rather be laughing than making money. There, I said it.

  7. I'll admit that I stopped following your site Sweetheart, because your intellectual output just seemed to peter out after a short while but lo and behold, you've re-emerged like the Phoenix of old, haven't cha?

    I'll admit that I didn't even read over your links and I obviously didn't watch the videos (I assume that it's all stuff I've seen before: I dislike annoying hippies as much as I dislike smug conservatives) but intentionally enhancing your carbon footprint is as foolish as pouring motor oil into your gutter, doll.

    I know you can't personally perceive the immediate effects with your own eyes but people a lot more educated than ourselves on these matters have determined that they destroy the planet. Don't discard science for partisan political dogma, girl. I somehow suspect that you're smarter than that.

    On a complete tangent, good luck helping out with the inner-city kid's project. I obviously don't agree with the whole "God thing" but I do recognize good intentions when I see them and yours appear sincere to me.