That message is, of course, for my loyal following of liberal readers ... 0h, wait, nevermind.
If you think my suggestion is harsh, you might not want to watch Big Sexy ask an earth-loving couple if they'd consider removing their carbon footprint from the earth by, well, removing themselves. The hilarity begins around minute 2.
(*See more orange-jumpsuit-wearing, liberal-punk-slapping-goodness at the bottom of the post.)
Now, if you're wondering how much all this planet-lovin' is going to cost you, the latest tally from the MIT crowd, via the Weekly Standard, is $3,900. Think that's too much to pay? You do have one one other option: Save the Earth: Commit Suicide!
Before you do that, though, you'll want to have a last meal. Pundit and Pundette says earth day whales are very delicious. I prefer the endangered bluefin tuna myself, while Dave C says that spotted owl is a tasty alternative to the now-not-endangered eagle. Whichever dwindling species you choose, don't post pictures of your feast on Facebook. Apparently, you can get arrested.
Of course, you'll want some music to enjoy with your endangered species. Fisherville Mike shares an Earth Day-appropriate song.
Finally, Jimmie over at Sundries Shack just can't get enough of Earth Day and proposes we extend the celebration to a whole week:
"I think we should rename this week as Unintended Consequences Week, to celebrate all the effects our well-intentioned but panic-driven laws have had on our planet and our lives."
Now, go ye forth into all the world. Be fruitful and multiply your carbon emissions.
*Ready for more Big Sexy? And, I mean, can you ever really get enough? (Uh, actually, I personally know the answer to this: it's a resounding "yes!") In the video below, he convinces the sillies to sign a petition giving Gitmo detainees E-Harmony accounts, Netfix subscriptions, and the Jihad Olympics. The snark factor is through the roof. And, it’s awesome. Via Little Miss Attilla. (She also shares a video of a CNN reporter getting called to the carpet by a Tax Day Tea Party Patriot.)