3.11.2009

Are you ready for some ... Jell-O-Fighting???

There really is a first time for everything.

I have been issued a Jell-O-fighting challenge, and I have whole-bodily accepted.

For those who haven't been following the saga here, and here, and here, let me bring you up to date: hotMES and I are in love with the same Big Sexy. (Just between you and me, I don't really want him, it's just a ruse to make my Site Meter like me.) Not content to settle for our happy threesome, Moe has decided that our love triangle must become a love line segment. Apparently, the scratching, biting, and clawing of a regular cat fight won't do. She has asked that we resort to the more civilized and tasty alternative: Jell-O-fighting.

So, if you're interested in joining us--and how could you not be?--Moe shares these details for your viewing pleasure:

The Event: Jell-O Wrestling Match (Strawberry Jell-O and Whipped Cream)
Location: Washington, DC
When: TBD

I should note that she left out one very important detail: How much?

We will be selling tickets to raise money for a very worthy conservative cause (namely, ourselves). We’re still gauging ticket interest and prices so please let us know how many we should sign you up for.

Before you respond, please consider these costs:

Strawberry Jell-O: $1.29
Redi Whip: $3.00
My airline ticket to DC: $253 (I accept contributions.)
Watching two young, hot conservative chicks enjoying a little Jell-O, whipped cream … and each other(s company): Priceless

So, stay close for ticket info and plan to meet us in DC for a good-old-fashioned, church-picnic-approved Jell-O Fight. If you can't make it, don't worry, our illustrious mentor will be offering DVD sales in the first installation (collector's edition!) of Conservative Chicks Gone Crazy.
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UPDATES:

P.S. Lest you think my embracing of Jell-O fights is paradoxical (hypocritical is such a harsh word) alongside my peevishness at Fox News' sex obsession, let me clarify: I never meant to suggest that I’m against using sexy images to drum up viewership. I’m only against them when the images are not of me.
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5 comments:

  1. Ms. Logan, you needn't have explained. Though thanks for the clarification. As you no doubt are well aware small consistencies are foolish hobgoblins, or something like that - I relied on my self-awareness and didn't really trouble myself with the rest of whatever Ralph Waldo Thoreau was yammering on about.

    Would it be fair to assume, even though I am cognizant of what assuming does to oneself as well as the one about which one assumes, that your clarification also extends to the discussion of thou shalts and thou shalt nots from yesterday?

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  2. Could be. Although I haven't yet come across a "thou shalt not Jell-O wrestle," but I'll keep an eye out for it. If and/or when it comes along, I'll offer Moe my condolences and resign myself to eat the jello instead.

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  3. A very good point. I can't recall any references to jello in general. And given the thoroughness of the Levitical diet, its exclusion is probably a sign that it is entirely appropriate for consumption as well as food fights, practical jokes and a countless host of other applications.

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  4. On an unrelated note, You made the jello fight post at 2:40 AM (Central time I am guessing), then served Fox(y) News (Chicks) with divorce papers at 4:36 AM. Followed by responding to me, 6:20 AM. Did you forgo sleep as part of your intense training regimen for your still to be announced jello fight event, or are you still blessed with a metabolism capable of scoffing at the dawn and mocking its silly attempts at inducing exhaustion?

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  5. Suzanna, normally I would have to settle for merely imagining my new conservative crush talking about Jell-O wrestling at this point in knowing her but you've obliged nicely as well as expediently.

    Question: how will you clean up afterwards? A ticket to DC may be a bit pricey for me at the moment but I'd seriously consider it if you needed the services of my unusually long...towel. And no, I, of course, don't mean towel.

    Normally, I wouldn't be quite so crass at this point but come on: you're talking about wrestling in Jell-O (and strawberry is one of my favorite flavors). I'm going to take a short break from typing now...

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