3.07.2009

All Dolled Up

By now, we’ve all heard of the West Virginia Delegate’s proposed legislation to ban America's Sweetheart.

Thank you, Jeff Eldridge. I had been struggling over who to elect as my Girlie Man of the Month. But you have made it easy with your public decrial of the (I thought) undeniably appealing combination of a tiny waist, flowing blonde locks, and perfect large round, uh, eyes. (Rule 5 attempt #1.)

Being from West Virginia, couldn’t you just be happy if we, say, banned Barbies from wearing shoes?

Or, maybe you are aware of your state’s reputation as a cosmopolitan powerhouse and now you want to further that reputation by taking cultural cues from those sophisticated sand dwellers across the sea?

I hope that should, Ken-forbid, your scheme become law, that four-year-old girls everywhere will take note that you are an ass. Then, in fourteen years, we’ll have a loyal following of 18-year-old lookers ready to help prove that conservative chicks are hotter.




Please note:
1) The uncanny resemblance between random hillbilly (photo 1) and West Virginia's Barbie-hating delegate Jeff Eldridge (photo 2).

2) That, yes, there is a Wicked Witch of the West Barbie.

3) My photoshop skills = epic fail. (But not as egregious as Obama's epic fail.) Maybe if I had spent more time studying and less time playing with my barbies during my graphic design course in college ...

1 comment:

  1. Vroom vroom..

    Yes, Rule 5 works very well

    :)

    ReplyDelete